I woke up this morning at 4:24 a.m. ugh. I woke up thinking. Thinking about all the things God has done over the last 4 1/2 months. Miraculous things, really. I was thinking about the way He has consistently proven two things: 1) He has definitely called us to adopt. 2) He is certainly capable of providing for every need. Heavy on my mind are a few things that kind of came as surprises to us this week. Some extra expenses we were not counting on. Still needing a place to stay while we are in the town where the institutions are. And a couple of other little things. Also weighing on me is a throat/vocal problem I’ve been having since the week before Christmas. Been to the doc several times…tried this and that medicine…stopped going to the gym for a week…nothing’s better. This may not seem like a big deal to most, but worship through music (specifically singing) is my life…dare I say it’s who I am. So to not be able to speak or sing without pain is a big deal to me. And from the fleshly side…it’s my livelihood (at least for now). So I awoke this morning feeling the world closing in on me. The enemy is on his haunches, waiting for just the right moment to pounce. I’ve been through a dark time of depression before in my life that I thought I couldn’t never come out of. That’s not somewhere I want to go ever again. God awoke me this morning to remind me of all these things that would seek to distract me…derail me…destroy me and steal my joy. He didn’t remind me of those things to sink me into depression. He reminded me of those things to help me remember. To remember that HE is bigger. HE is more powerful. HE has all this and more under control. He reminded me that even though things seem like they are spinning out of control, the only control they are out of is mine. Not His.
| He took me to His Word. Here’s a few Scriptures He shared with me: 7 Sing to the Lord with thanksgiving;
make melody to our God on the lyre!
8 He covers the heavens with clouds;
he prepares rain for the earth;
he makes grass grow on the hills.
9 He gives to the beasts their food,
and to the young ravens that cry.
10 His delight is not in the strength of the horse,
nor his pleasure in the legs of a man,
11 but the Lord takes pleasure in those who fear him,
in those who hope in his steadfast love.
–Psalm 147:7-11 7 “And to the angel of the church in Philadelphia write: ‘The words of the holy one, the true one, who has the key of David, who opens and no one will shut, who shuts and no one opens. 8 “‘I know your works. Behold, I have set before you an open door, which no one is able to shut. I know that you have but little power, and yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name. 9 Behold, I will make those of the synagogue of Satan who say that they are Jews and are not, but lie—behold, I will make them come and bow down before your feet and they will learn that I have loved you.
–Revelation 3:8-9 18 For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us. 19 For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. 20 For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope 21 that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God. 22 For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. 23 And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. 24 For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? 25 But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
Who can explain why God does things the way He does? Who can describe the workings of His mind? Who can deduce what His next move will be? Try as I might, I cannot. Trusting is the only successful thing I can do. Matthew and Misha…have you any idea of our love for you? Have you any idea of all we are doing and, more importantly, all God is doing to bring you to a place of love and security? We’ll be there soon boys. We love you. We’ll be leaving in 22 days. I packed you bag this morning. Fun toys, warm clothes, new coats, hats, gloves, books. Can’t wait to see you, to hold you, to rock you, to sing to you, just to be with you.